Really Bad Church Names

How do you feel about church names? Does a church name really matter to you?

If you were looking for a new church fellowship in your area, would a name have the power to attract or repel you?

While the earliest generations of Christians didn’t use church names, at least not in the way we do today, I’m convinced that the name of a local congregation in our post-modern context does make a difference when people are looking for a church. It can help you or hurt you.

And it’s especially important for those seekers who are curious about Jesus.

Should churches include their denominational affiliation in their name? Do we give in to the consumer culture when we choose names in order to attract people? Should we not have church names? These are important questions, but that’s a topic for another day.

Today’s post is just for laughs.  🙂

Through the years I have seen and heard of some really bad church names. I think you know what I’m talking about.

There are some church names that have you asking yourself, “Who in the world thought THAT would be a good name for a church?”

Here are just a few church names that I recommend not using:

  • Corinth Baptist Church — I guess they want you to know that they struggle with sexual immorality and numerous divisions.
  • Flippin Church of God — Even if your town is called “Flippin”… this is just wrong. “Flippin” has been used in the place of another F-word we all know. Not a good idea if you ask me.
  • Hell Hole Swamp Baptist Church — Really?? I have a problem with four words in this name. Can you guess which four?
  • Guided Missiles Church — Only the “Guided Drones Church” could beat this one. Glory to the bomb in the highest!
  • Little Hope Baptist Church — Is this different from a church with no hope? Have they heard about the resurrection of Jesus?
  • Weedville United Methodist Church — Ha! Unlike many churches I know, I hear this congregation is happy all the time.
  • Bethlehem Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americas — How do members of this fellowship invite others to the BFBHCGTA?
  • Ridin’ With Christ Cowboy Church — I thought Jesus rode donkeys instead of horses. I suppose I need to be a cowboy to understand.
  • Westboro Baptist Church — Use this name if you oppose the God of love revealed in Jesus Christ, the friend of sinners and outcasts.

What bad church names have you come across?

D.D. Flowers, 2013.

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About David D. Flowers

David received a B.A. in Religion from East Texas Baptist University and a M.T.S. in Biblical Studies from Houston Graduate School of Theology. David has over 15 years experience as a pastor and teacher in and outside the church. He currently pastors an Anabaptist congregation in Virginia. View all posts by David D. Flowers

14 responses to “Really Bad Church Names

  • askthebigot

    Aaaannnddd, thank you! Needed my mood to lighten! 😉

  • speakpeacealways

    Had a nice chuckle! Just what I needed! Thanks!

  • Tobie

    My all time favourite is The House of God which is the Church of the Living God the Pillar and Ground of the Truth without Controversy, Inc. ( It’s in Ansonia, Connecticut.)

  • Bob Woodburn

    My favorite is a denomination called the “Living Church of God.” Ironically, its founder and members are very aware of the letters to the seven churches in Revelation, including the following message: “To the angel of the church in Sardis write: He who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars, says this: ‘I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead.”

  • Barry

    That’s funny… kinda’ like the hobo, all bedraggled looking and with a long unkempt white hair and beard and piercing blue eyes. He was asked, “Do you believe in God?” The hobo, with his own piercing blue eyes, peered deep into the person’s eyes who asked him, and replied, “Who do you think made me?”
    On a serious note… Like minded people will congregate together with like minded people. The thinking and worship style and world view of the average Baptist is different than that of the Methodist. Baptists got their name because they are always walking around bapping people on the head with the Bible. Methodists got their name from having a certain quirky “method” about them. Just kidding there about the Baptist and the Methodist. The Hell Hole Swamp Baptist Church may be just across town from the Weedville United Methodist Church. The congregations of each will flock together with their own out of like-mindedness. What came first? The chicken or the egg. Or, the congregation or the name it bears?

  • 2trakmind

    Too funny! My wife and I were traveling the other day and drove by a church called “)insert town name here) Temple Baptist Church.” I’m like; why would a church, who never lived under the old covenant law (because they most certainly haven’t been around for over 2,000 years and are NOT JEWISH!) proudly associate themselves with the temple and that entire system that Christ spoke so boldly against? I don’t get it!

  • julie

    “Living for the Brand, Cowboy Church”

  • Audio Bible

    Funny. And at the same time unbelievable. I just wondered how many of these churches are able to effectively invite non-believers to attend worship.

  • Jay Goldsborough

    Intercourse United Methodist Church – Pastor Harry Dekolf

    Moral of the story: Just because your small Pennsylvania town has an unfortunate name, doesn’t require you to put it on your church…

  • jbhousephotography

    It was more of an editing issue on a sign then anything but years ago I passed by a now abandoned parish in Elmira New York.

    St John
    The Baptist Catholic Church

    Now it was easy to miss the St. John portion because it was in far smaller letters, and I was amazed by the whole concept of a “baptist catholic church”.

  • Avery

    Pony Express Holiness Church, Berea, KY

  • Terry DeGraff

    Jerry’s Temple Church of God in Christ, Tyler, TX

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