Tag Archives: long church names

Really Bad Church Names

How do you feel about church names? Does a church name really matter to you?

If you were looking for a new church fellowship in your area, would a name have the power to attract or repel you?

While the earliest generations of Christians didn’t use church names, at least not in the way we do today, I’m convinced that the name of a local congregation in our post-modern context does make a difference when people are looking for a church. It can help you or hurt you.

And it’s especially important for those seekers who are curious about Jesus.

Should churches include their denominational affiliation in their name? Do we give in to the consumer culture when we choose names in order to attract people? Should we not have church names? These are important questions, but that’s a topic for another day.

Today’s post is just for laughs.  🙂

Through the years I have seen and heard of some really bad church names. I think you know what I’m talking about.

There are some church names that have you asking yourself, “Who in the world thought THAT would be a good name for a church?”

Here are just a few church names that I recommend not using:

  • Corinth Baptist Church — I guess they want you to know that they struggle with sexual immorality and numerous divisions.
  • Flippin Church of God — Even if your town is called “Flippin”… this is just wrong. “Flippin” has been used in the place of another F-word we all know. Not a good idea if you ask me.
  • Hell Hole Swamp Baptist Church — Really?? I have a problem with four words in this name. Can you guess which four?
  • Guided Missiles Church — Only the “Guided Drones Church” could beat this one. Glory to the bomb in the highest!
  • Little Hope Baptist Church — Is this different from a church with no hope? Have they heard about the resurrection of Jesus?
  • Weedville United Methodist Church — Ha! Unlike many churches I know, I hear this congregation is happy all the time.
  • Bethlehem Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americas — How do members of this fellowship invite others to the BFBHCGTA?
  • Ridin’ With Christ Cowboy Church — I thought Jesus rode donkeys instead of horses. I suppose I need to be a cowboy to understand.
  • Westboro Baptist Church — Use this name if you oppose the God of love revealed in Jesus Christ, the friend of sinners and outcasts.

What bad church names have you come across?

D.D. Flowers, 2013.

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