Jesus, Lover of My Soul

“While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.” Mark 14:3

I’m not gonna lie to you.  There are things that I just don’t like about the way in which the Lord works with us.  In time, I do see the wisdom and the genius in it, but I have yet to grow accustom to the periods in life where the Lord is breaking you like the woman’s alabaster jar.  It does help to remember the breaking is for Jesus.

Maybe you’re like me.  I keep thinking about what’s in the jar… and the aroma that will fill the room.  I like those moments.  I often find myself trying to skip to the “good stuff”… wanting to leave the jar the way it is.  But the Lord is concerned with the process of breaking vessels.

If you’re looking for a big theological word… it’s called “sanctification.”  It’s being continually fashioned into His holy image.  For He knows the aroma is the reward of a willing piece of clay.  He is that aroma.  And His fragrance comes only through a crushing blow to our souls.

I have been giving this a great deal of thought.  I think the nature of this process is interwoven into the very fabric of the Triune God.  I don’t know what all that means yet.  Nevertheless, I do believe that it is somehow rooted in the community shared by the Trinity.  The Lord of heaven knows about self-denial.

Yes, the Lord must grow us up into His image through self-sacrifice.  It is what exists between the Father, Son, and Spirit.  Without a continual denying of self, the believer will not be fashioned into His image, nor can he be built together with other living stones.

The sweetness of the sacrifice will never come unless there is a willing disciple who is broken and spilled out.  The Potter makes us and therefore has the right to break us.  And that breaking can only bring forth a glorious display of His beauty IF we will surrender our constant obsession with self and learn the altruistic faith that unlocks the depths and riches of Christ.

I’m learning that I can give up my desire for control and hand the reins of my life to Christ.  He has relieved me from my post of being the watchman of my own soul.  You know what I’m talking about?  You know… that feeling when fear and uncertainty set in. It causes us to scramble.  It says, “I’ve got to do something!”

“For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against my enemies.”  Psalm 61:3

If I can only remember the Lord is not only the watchman of my soul… He is the watchtower.  I climb the stairs of this tower… I see the Lord there… and he reminds me that He has indeed relieved me of my burden.  I’m not the captain of my soul.  I’m not the “master of my fate.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The command of Jesus is hard, unutterably hard, for those who try to resist it. But for those who willingly submit, the yoke is easy and the burden is light.”  (The Cost of Discipleship, p. 37.)

I guess it’s just really difficult to grasp.  Lord, did you really mean your “yoke is easy” and your “burden is light”?  Have you really taken care of all my needs in one sweeping victory?  Will you cloth me like the flowers of the field?  Is your well really that deep?  Living water?  Lord!  Help me to receive it!

Jesus said, “Everything is possible for him who believes.” And I cry out, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24)

So… I start my descent back down the tower… taking what the Lord has shown me.  He knows I’ll be back soon.  And He never grows tired of my coming.  He never grows weary of reminding me how much He loves me.

It reminds me of the movie 50 First Dates (2004).  Lucy (Drew Barrymore) was involved in an accident that caused her to forget everything about her life.  She could be reminded of who she was, but after she slept during the night, she forgot it all and was back to square one.  (The movie is worth watching… check it out.)

Henry (Adam Sandler) loved her so deeply.  He decided that he would make a video for Lucy to wake up to every single day.  The video would remind her of who she was, where she was, who loved her, and whom it was that she loved.  Henry was committed to having his bride fall in love with him all over again… each and every day.

Henry reminds me of the Lord.

This truly is the greatest mystery to me: the Lord’s ability to bring life out of death; an empty tomb after a bloody cross; a new man from the mud and mire of a self-centered existence.  And He does it over and over again… new creation breaking through the old.

There is not a word in my vocabulary to describe the creative power and foolish magnificence of my Jesus.  And no matter how often we forget it… the Lord is patient and his mercies are new every morning.  He is glad to begin again with us.

Things move much slower in the Lord’s economy.  Not only is the Lord slow, as we consider slowness, but His way is foolish.  He moves when we sit.  When we are weak, He is strong.  When we fall, He rises up.  When we stop, he starts.  When we die, He lives.  Are you getting the picture yet?

“Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.”  Psalm 127:1

So… relax.  Stop trying to make something happen in your life and in the church.  Let go!  Enjoy the Lord where you are… in the season He has you.  He loves you.  Trust that He will work it out.  Believe He will bring it to pass.  Turn from your own thinking.

See the Lord there in the tower of your soul.  He’s watching.  He’s got you covered.  Every morning He’s there… telling you who you are in Him and that He loves you all over again.  Brothers and sisters, receive it.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.” Lamentations 3:22-26


About David D. Flowers

David received a B.A. in Religion from East Texas Baptist University and a M.T.S. in Biblical Studies from Houston Graduate School of Theology. David has over 20 years experience as a pastor and teacher in and outside the church. He currently pastors an Anabaptist congregation in Pennsylvania. View all posts by David D. Flowers

13 responses to “Jesus, Lover of My Soul

  • Ruth

    Good words David…but I wanted to add something to this:
    The sweetness of the sacrifice will never come unless there is a willing disciple who is broken and spilled out.

    For me personally, I think it is more than just a willingness involved.

    I would say my brother that God goes after many who are not willing. But they are called and their his. So he pursues..I don’t know if anyone is really willing when the time to be broken happens. I can think of many people that God went after under pretty extreme circumstance before they were willing to see God in their situation. I think God is very aggressive in what he wants whether you want it or not at times!

    But I love the title………Lover of my soul. I have come to see one thing when his hand comes.

    It is well with my soul is all I can say now in my life!

    In HIM

  • Cindy Hartz

    would it be OK to post this on my page…it’s funny, my friends and I just watched ’50 1st.Dates’ for the 1st time the other night…what I like about your article…is ‘you are learning’…so often, seconds after giving everything over to God, we take it right back..thinking we can do a better job. I’ve climbed that tower too many times to count in my lifetime, you’d think I’d be able to insure the best looking legs in the world’ I’m still climbing daily…and the door is never closed or locked as it is with Church. anyhow, every thing we take back we stress over and after hyperventilating, come to our
    spiritual to refer to it as Holy Spirit sense, and give it back to God. I’m coming to a point in my life where I’m more worried about what I’m giving to Him then in what I’m receiving from Him.

    Part of our beings will always be in the World, won’t it be great when we arrive in Heaven and all can be given in praise and worship to Him.

    I’m too tired tonight,,,but looking forward to reading your other articles..thanks for being my Facebook brother.

  • David D. Flowers

    Yes, Cindy. You may post it. Thanks!

  • John Morris

    David, once again I thank you for being a willing vessel to share the words that I needed to hear from the Lord. I am truly amazed at how this post speaks to me on so many levels (as did you last one). Thank you, and thank you Lord. As in your last post, you hit the nail on the head. I am in that very situation right now, wanting my desires for church life to happen this very day. I have tried to “make” things happen, it has not worked out. Thanks for the encouraging words. I will try and relax and enjoy the place the Lord has me in now, and wait to see what He brings in the future. Best regards, John Morris.

  • Jill

    I think you wrote this just for me, David. Thanks, again, for bringing insight and encouragement to the Church, and for allowing us to benefit from your times in the tower. The Lord speaks life-giving words through you, brother. Glad to be on the journey together!

  • Jan

    I hear that wonderful song in my head, Jesus, lover of my soul, what a sweet sound indeed.

    I tend to gravitate more towards the big theological words like “sanctification”. This is what Paul refers to as the “working out of our salvation” (Phil 2:12-13). Not in the sense that we “work” for our salvation, that was accomplished on the cross and is the free gift of God. We are justified by the work of Jesus. But, this is the breaking of the jar in each of our lives for His good pleasure. And it benefits us. That is what is so wonderful about this journey we call the Christian walk. God allows circumstances in each of our lives that are hand picked, and especially for us to mold us into the image of His beloved son. And why does He do that? Because He is indeed the lover of our souls and His love is sacrificial on His part for our benefit. When the vine dresser prunes the vines, it is to get rid of the unnecessary growth so that come spring, the vine will produce abundant fruit. The pruning process can sometimes be, and often is, painful. But when we trust in the one who knows all, is all powerful, righteous, just, never changes, truth and allow him to have his way, WOW! We are changed and often encourage those in our circle of influence to cling to Jesus. What a wonderful place to be.

    Thanks David for this wonderful reminder.

  • Holly Hoffart

    Hi my husband and I recently moved to Houston. We were given your name from a friend in Ukraine that is learning and involved with the organic church over there. He gave us your information. The group that you mentioned in your articles, you first meet with 7 years ago, were west of Houston. Do you have a contact for them, as we are interested in possible meeting them, and seeing about this way to worship and grow? Thanking you in advance.

  • Grant

    This entry, of all your entries, I am particularly fond of brother. thanks for sharing your heart!

  • David D. Flowers

    Thanks, Grant. I am blessed to have you as my brother and best friend.

  • jrust

    are you saying our Lord has an egg shaped head?? (ala a. sandler)?? : ) this was a great read.

  • citypact

    Lord is always with us, in our deeds and prayers. Nice post.

  • Matt

    I have got to say that in this past year I have experienced and seen much of what Ruth mentioned about God pursuing and breaking vessels in times when they seem least willing to. Romans 11:29 “for God’s gifts and call are irrevocable.”

    Maybe that opens a can of debate on free will. That’s not the point, however. The point is that this past year, I have been convinced through very real circumstances that God works in such ways.

    And David, what caught my eye in your post was your quote from Lamentations. It’s hard to explain how Lam 3 (particularly the verses surrounding the ones you quoted) were revealed to me in such times. Circumstance after circumstance and then WHAM! Lamentations 3

    …it’s a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God…

    …He may also be a genius 😉

    Much Love everyone, and thanks for your blog David. I’m looking forward to reading more as it comes!

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