Letter From a Wounded Disciple

The other day I received a letter from a woman I met several years ago. I was so blown away by her honesty and moved by her suffering that I asked her if it would be OK to share the letter with you. She was very willing to share her own struggles with you. Please open your heart to her pain.

I have kept her real identity concealed for obvious reasons. We can just call her a wounded disciple. May the Holy Spirit move us to change.

Hello, I have followed your blog for a while. I believe that I met you and your wife years ago at a house church gathering. Since then I have divorced (he was abusive and committed adultery), and I’m raising my two sons on my own. I’m writing this to confide in a fellow believer, leader, and respected minister…anonymously… that I have bi-sexual tendencies. I have never acted on them because I really LOVE the Lord. I feel a great deal of conviction when I seriously consider seeking out a relationship with a female. I make a conscious decision to deny myself and be obedient. But the thoughts do exist, and they don’t stay away after I push them from my mind. Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and convictions regarding the support or lack of support for gay marriage. I really wish that church was a safe place to seek guidance and encouragement without fear of rejection, being gossiped about or changing the way people love you. I shouldn’t have to be writing an email to someone I think I met years ago who lives far away now, and I will likely never see again about a struggle I deal with when I have a local congregation I am active in. I don’t trust my church to love me if I were to be honest with them. Thanks for your ministry, loving heart and openness.   Sincerely, Wounded Disciple

How many others feel like this wounded disciple? How can the church be more intentional in the way we embrace those who suffer from physical abuse and inner strife? What are you doing to make your local fellowship a place of safety and acceptance for outcasts? Think about it.

D.D. Flowers, 2013.


How Worship of the American Flag Changed Everything

This fourth of July will be significant for me in several ways. It was this week seven years ago that my personal journey of discovery into a flag-less Kingdom of Christ collided with the religious powers of Christendom. What unfolded was the result of a patriotic service that would not soon be forgotten.

I grew up a Southern Baptist and served in three churches as student pastor in Texas. In the last few years leading up to my departure from vocational ministry in the Baptist church, I had been slowly embracing Anabaptism—a vision of a non-violent, love-doesn’t-stop-at-the border sort of Jesus.

In fact, I had just spent weeks teaching over the Sermon on the Mount to our youth, college students, and adult companions in our ministry. And then came the annual fourth of July service.

While I was a bit more willing to prophetically clear the temple in those days, I had decided it was wise to begin my vacation the day before this event so as not to disrupt or be a distraction by my refusal to participate in the celebration of America and the worship of the flag, something I couldn’t do in good conscience. I was for sure it was for the best.

Little did I know that there were others whom I had been teaching that would go to the service but choose not to participate in what they felt was idolatry. I didn’t learn of it until the following Sunday when I was asked by an elderly deacon in the foyer, “What’s this we hear about you teaching our youth not to say the pledge.” I was dumbfounded.

Apparently when the flag was marched down the middle of the aisle, several students and adults didn’t turn to pledge. They didn’t sing the patriotic songs, nor did they pray the nationalistic prayers.

And it seems that others noticed a small prayer group outside the church building that were praying against the event.

What followed over the next couple of months was a series of meetings with parents, deacons, and the pastor. I could no longer keep my personal views to myself. It was out in the open. And they had questions.

What had I been teaching that their students would want to put aside their former pursuits to go into missions, love all people regardless of nationality, and not waste their life on worldly gain?

They were discovering a radical discipleship. And I was becoming an Anabaptist and just didn’t know it.

The truth is that these students and adults were drawing conclusions based on a simple reading of the Gospels. And we had all come to realize that this was unacceptable for this Baptist church in rural America.

Saying no to flag worship dethrones the American Jesus and it exposes our cultural Christianity.

There would be no discussion. No debate.

We asked, “What if Jesus had physically walked in the building while you were doing those things?” One prominent member said, “Well, we of course would have stopped what we were doing and worshipped him.” Say what?

And the one retort I’ll never forget, “David, where in love your enemies does it say not to kill them.” I couldn’t believe it.

Parents were angry and confused. Church leaders had run out of patience trying to understand my perspective. For whatever reason, they wouldn’t or couldn’t hear it, or even tolerate it.

I was apparently such a threat that I had to sign a document saying I would never set foot on church grounds again. I was so deeply hurt by this that I wept at my desk in front of the deacon who had been sent to me.

When I resigned in September 2006, I announced that I was leaving to pastor a church. That was my true intent. But I was unaware of the time of wilderness, recovery, and reconstruction that awaited us.

I worked odd jobs and taught in a Christian school the last five years. And looking back it’s become clear that the last seven years has been a time of spiritual formation. I’m thankful for it. I see the Lord at work.

God’s love has used it to prepare me for what is ahead.

Had it not been for the worship of the flag that day, I might not have recognized how radical Christ’s call is to those who choose to follow him, and how counter-culture the Gospel-for-all-nations is to those who have made their home in the world.

I would not be the same person that I am today without this experience seven years ago. It has forever shaped my character and my path.

And that’s how worship of the American flag changed everything.

Viva La Revolution!

D.D. Flowers, 2013.

UPDATE: This 4th of July marks 10 years since this event.


The Difference Between Conviction & Condemnation

There’s a big difference between conviction and condemnation. But not every believer has learned about the great gulf that exists between the two.

For that reason there is much that is accepted from pastors and teachers that is nothing more than spiritual abuse in the name of “Christ-centered” preaching. The worse off you feel after being screamed at and talked down to (even sarcastically)… the more “powerful” the sermon.

Or so some people have believed.

I’ve heard this sort of thing defended with, “He was just preaching the truth of God’s Word.”

Folks, nobody is ever “just preaching the truth” of Scripture. They are always preaching their interpretations of the Bible from a certain vantage point—their image of God rooted in personal experience (background, culture, context, etc.) and their own self-identity.

If you’ll listen close… you may learn more about the preacher instead of what God is actually like and what he really thinks about you.

Never forget that.

It’s not the role of human beings to convict other human beings of sin.

In fact, we aren’t even capable of convicting people. Only the Holy Spirit can convict us of sin. And that’s not just some theological bullet-point.

“And when he (Holy Spirit) comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.” John 16:8 NLT

When men and women try their hand at convicting others of sin, condemnation is the result. The methods common among these preachers are the use of guilt and shame to solicit repentance. But you can’t solicit true repentance through condemnation. It will never work.

Learn from Adam and Eve in the garden. Guilt and shame prompt us to run and hide. But God is interested in clothing us with Christ and restoring us to himself. Don’t believe the lie of the serpent that God really isn’t good after all. And remember that guilt and shame belong to sin and death.

You may guilt people to do what you want some of the time. But they will ultimately burn out or become burdened down with a law-centered, works-oriented faith that is bound to a false image of God. It’s a dead end.

Some folks would soon sum up the Christian life with,”God is holy, you’re not, try harder.” If that’s the extent of the “Gospel” that you’ve embraced, then you’ve not taken serious the message and example of Jesus.

Those whom Christ died for will not discover the yoke that is easy and the burden that is light in this way. Believers or not, they will not come to know Christ if this is the way they are “spurred” on in the faith.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” Romans 8:1-2 NLT

The image of God in Christ is one that comes to redeem us through love. Paul wrote that it’s God’s kindness that leads people to repentance (Rom 2:4). Jesus told us that God comes not to condemn, but to seek and save the lost, the hurting, the victims of sin and circumstance (Jn 3:16-17).

Jesus said, “Where are your accusers?” to the woman caught in adultery (Jn 8:1-11). Hmm… accusers. Reminds me of Satan, the great accuser (Rev 12:10). Those ready to judge are like the devil. It’s a frightening thought that the “Christian” who condemns is more like Satan than Jesus. But it’s true.

Friends, that is the naked truth of Scripture.

Real conviction from the Lord picks us up out of the dirt, looks into our eyes, and says, “Neither do I condemn you. Now go and sin no more.”

True and lasting change of heart and mind comes when a person is overwhelmed by the conviction of the Holy Spirit, which works its power through the love and kindness of God as revealed in Christ.

We’ve been called to embody that love and kindness.

It’s time to give up trying to change others (or yourself) by way of condemnation and judgment. If we want others to repent, let’s begin by repenting of our own public hypocrisies and secret sins.

Resorting to any message or method that judges and condemns is anti-Christ. It reflects our own failure to grasp the power of God’s love and the non-coercive nature of the peaceable Kingdom.

Believe in the power of love and humble service to bring about the sort of change that God’s wants in your life and those around you.

Let’s love like Jesus and work at discovering our new identity in him.

D.D. Flowers, 2013.


Sermon: Heaven’s Watch & Hell’s Fury

As many of my readers and subscribers already know, I’m seeking to pastor a like-minded (missional-Anabaptist) church. I greatly appreciate your prayers during this time. It makes a difference.

Our current fellowship allowed me the opportunity to preach last Sunday. FBC Woodlands/Birnham Woods was gracious enough to film it so that it can be used in the search process.

In the following sermon, I talk about the power and purpose of prayer as it involves God’s timing and spiritual warfare. And it’s only 26 minutes long!

How have you seen God at work around you through the power of prayer? Please share your experiences with “the unseen” realms that war against us. Encourage others with your stories. It really matters.

D.D. Flowers, 2013.